Trials of the Heart
by Angel-Chan
Summary: This starts out with my version of the Christmas epp., then flares out from the series into a drama told by Tai, Sora , and Matt. FINISHED! Read about the pain of choosing, a love unknown, and what happens when you love one who wants another.
1. Anything For You

Anything for You   
  
  
  
  
  


Christmas. The day of cheer. The day where your dreams can come true... most of the time, anyway. A lot of good things happened to me on this very day, and yet... my heart aches. I know the reason, yes, but I shouldn't feel so upset about it.... After all, I would do anything... for her....   
  


~*~   
  


Earlier, I, along with the other original digidestined, met up with Davis and his crew. They had told us that they had a 'huge' surprise waiting for us. Of course, no one knew what that meant 'cause they had said it like it was a joke! Still, we came, not knowing what they had in store for us. When everyone was there, they passed out our gifts-- or, better put, the gifts passed themselves out!   
  


They had brought back our digimon pals for the holiday, hoping that it would make us happy. It sure did, what with me being able to see Agumon again! Boy, did I miss him.... We had a lot of catching up to do, too! After the reunion, Matt invited the new digidestined to his concert, but they had been intending on going to Ken's Christmas party... so we parted ways. I had planned on asking Sora to the concert but needed to be alone with her first. I prayed that she would accept, but my heart was telling me that I was about to make a mistake... one that might not mend so easily...   
  


"Would ya look at that line, eh?" I inquired to Agumon. Seemed as though Matt was ratherpopular. "Hope we can get tickets...."   
  


"Don't worry, Tai!" Agumon grinned his goofy grin and I just had to laugh. Man, how much I missed this idiot!   
  


Glancing around quickly, I spotted Sora... She was standing in front of the back entrance. My heart dipped. 'Is she going to see Matt?' I questioned myself softly, walking over to her as though nothing were wrong. She seemed awfully nervous... and she was holding a small package, wrapped carefully with green wrapping paper and tied with a red ribbon. She and Biyomon were having a quiet conversation. I stepped towards her. "Sora, wait up!" I called, catching her attention.   
  


She looked over at me. "Oh, Tai...," she muttered. Glancing down at the gift, she stuttered slightly and blushed, turning like she was trying to hide it from me. As though she didn't want me to see.... Why wouldn't she...?   
  


Gabumon came out the door and offered to take whatever Sora had to Matt, but Biyomon told him off. I had a feeling that Sora made something special just for Matt and was hoping to give it to him personally.   
  


My gaze slid to the ground, and I took in a deep breath. "So-- um-- Sora? Are you going to the concert with anybody? I mean, not that it matters to me.... Just wondering...," I stuttered gently, hoping for the best. Instead, my heart was crushed.   
  


She turned to me. "No.... I want to be available incase Matt is free afterwards." She gigged slightly, and my heart broke. I never knew... that it would take just that little line to do so....   
  


I tried not to show how much I was truly hurt, though. "Oh.... I see... Matt, huh?" I couldn't help it. I was disappointed-- no, more than disappointed! I was crushed....   
  


Blushing, she brought a hand to her mouth and agreed with a murmur. She was embarrassed, I could tell. I doubted that she ever felt anything else for me except a deep friendship... I had not known how much I truly cared for her until we had finished our job in the digital world. Now, though, I guessed that I was too late... She fell for him. Matt. One of my best friends. Of course, I could see why.... He was popular, kind, and handsome.... Who wouldn't like him?   
  


I suddenly felt like curling up into a ball and wasting away... but I didn't. I did something that would help her in this situation. I walked right up to her, shocking her slightly. "I-It's okay...," I told her, placing my hand on her shoulder reassuringly.   
  


"You're not mad at me, Tai?" she inquired. Why would I be upset with her crushing on Matt? I cared for her too much to hate her. If she was happy, then I would be happy.... I just wish that she could realize that....   
  


I started to move behind her. "No.... O-Of course not...." Gently, I pushed her towards the opened door. Surprised, she turned back to look at me, her face questioning. I shook it off. No-- I didn't want to hear any sympathy.... "Now get in there and say 'Hi' to Matt for me," I encouraged, giving her a boost of what she needed at the moment. Courage-- my quality.   
  


"Thanks, Tai...."   
  


Agumon moved beside me, waving his arms. "The least you could do is leave us the cookies!" he cried jokingly.   
  


She smiled lightly, blushing even more, and giggled. "Tell you what.... I'll make some special ones for you...," she whispered. Turning, she walked through the door.   
  


I watched her walk in, taking both my heart and courage with her. I knew that she would be happy... and that made me smile, even though it was a sad one. I answered her softly, "I'll be waiting.... Thanks...."   
  


"You know what, Tai?" Agumon noted, claws on his hips.   
  


I gazed down at him, confused. "What?"   
  


"You've really grown up!" he concluded, smiling.   
  


He was right. I had changed. I knew that I had done the right thing-- even though my heart had been broken in the process. I no longer felt like going to the concert, but I would do so anyway... because Sora was still my friend, and I was still hers. I never want to see her get hurt.   
  


~*~   
  


The concert had been canceled due to a digimon attack. None of us knew how the digimon had gotten to our world, but we were ready for more yet to come. Ken seemed to have an idea, but it was nothing more than that. We were also on the lookout for control spires that were now being built in our world.   
  


Shortly after bidding farewell to Ken, we all left our separate ways. The thing that hit me the most was that she had left with Matt. They walked off, chatting away, while I stood there staring. I slapped myself inwardly. I felt my whole world fall apart. 'At least she's happy...,' I thought, trudging off.   
  


"Tai? Are you okay?" Kari asked me when we made our way inside the apartment building. She seemed really worried about me....   
  


I smiled falsely and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." I chuckled and tapped Agumon on the head. "Come on, pal! Let's get some sleep!" He and I ran into the bedroom and toppled onto my bed.   
  


Kari sighed. "You guys need some."   
  


~*~   
  


I woke up in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep.... My heart was sore, and I was now realizing that I would be nothing more to her than a close friend. She would tell me about her dates with Matt, and how much she cared for him.... Then again, I didn't know if she'd even do that anymore.... She probably knew that I cared for her....   
  


I quietly slipped out of my bed and moved over towards the window. I doubted that she would even remember her small promise she had made to me.... 'So forever shall I wait,' I supposed. Life wasn't kind right now, and unneeded thoughts entered my mind while I sat there. 'End the hurting,' they told me... but I didn't want to.... They told me that I could thrust a knife into my wrist, right between the bones, and cut the arteries... but I didn't. That I could just open the window and jump... but I didn't. All that I did was smile sadly and turn away from the beauty of the night sky. I silently climbed back into my bed beside the snoozing digimon.   
  


I had come to realize that I loved Sora so much... that it didn't matter to me if she didn't feel the same way back. I would do anything for her: give her courage when need be, be her shoulder to cry on, be the person who would make her laugh. If I had a choice, I would rather give up my own life than see her die. And I also knew that if I died, she would be sad... and I didn't want her to be. Her happiness was mine, and I would always be there with her.   
  


'All my life means nothing 

When you are feeling blue 

`Cause your happiness is mine 

And I'll do anything for you   
  


I know that you are in love 

And that you don't know what to do 

Look for me, your close friend 

`Cause my courage will see you through   
  


Although sadness is in my heart 

And I doubt that it will mend 

Anything is what I`ll always do 

For you, my dear sweet friend'   
  


Tears formed in my eyes as I closed them. Tomorrow would bring a new day, and yet it would also bring an even greater sadness. Letting these thoughts go, I drifted into a dreamless sleep.   
  


~*~   
  


a/n: This was something that I had to write. I don't know if I have the English dub words completely correct, nor do I care. I am a true T&S fan, and seeing this episode made me cry for Tai... He seemed to sad... I think that he truly did care for Sora... I decided to make this to tell how I think he felt, and I slightly changed the ending to help me out. I figure that I`m going to get some flames, so they are welcome. This story was based off my own feelings and problems as well. I, too, have a crush on a certain guy, and my friend also likes him. He is very kind to both of us, yet I believe that he will choose her... Anyway, forget about my life. Heh... I will still write T&S stories and draw pictures with the two of them together, but this moment will hang in my mind forever... Arigatou, minna, for reading. Ja ne...-~Angel-Chan~ (updated) 


	2. Just Friends?

Just Friends?   
  
  
  


Christmas. A time for gift giving and gift receiving. I not only gave out many precious gifts, but acquired ones as well. I had baked Matt some cookies, ones I made especially for him. He enjoyed them, I think, because he did walk me home afterwards. Oh, God, I was blushing bad!   
  


"So, Sora?" Matt looked at me with those enchanting baby blue eyes of his. "I was wondering if you would like to go out with me tomorrow."   
  


"A-A date?" I stammered. How stupid I felt! Oh, did I want to whack myself hard for that!   
  


"Yeah. What do you say?" He grinned. "Movies-- your choice, of course-- and a really fancy restaurant my dad told me about."   
  


We were at my front door. Glancing down, I muttered, "Sure.... What time?"   
  


He laughed. "How's about 7:30 or so?"   
  


I looked up at him. From the burning sensation on my cheeks, I knew that I was beet red. "Fine with me...."   
  


I could have sworn his eyes twinkled as he walked back down to the sidewalk. "Check ya later!" he called, waving to me briskly. I watched him stride away, eyes eating up his entire figure. I leaned against the door and sighed heavily. Me, little old me, and Matt Ishida.... On a date! And that's when I suddenly realized something... I had nothing to wear.... I groaned. Tomorrow intended to be a long day....   
  


~*~   
  


"No! Not this, either!" I cried, tossing what little clothing I had in my closet out, hoping to find something presentable. I couldn't say that I succeeded....   
  


"Darn it! Why don't I have anything 'nice' to wear?" My date with Matt was at 7:30. It was already noon. Mainly, I had nothing to wear. Zip. Zilch. I cried out in angry frustration. I barely had enough time to go mall shopping, and I wanted to look good for him. No, that wasn't it.... I had to look good for him. My heart speeded up, beating against my chest. What if I wasn't ready on time or didn't look right? Would he forget me? Don't think that, Sora! Pulling out my savings pouch, I groaned. Shopping....   
  


Shopping wasn't exactly my best quality. Heck-- it wasn't really a quality at all.... I usually needed an opinion from someone else.... My mom couldn't help due to her flower shop, and Davis and the others were busy with their own crisis. On times like these, I usually counted on my best friend... but now, I was too afraid to hurt him.... I thought that I already had, though he did not officially state it.... Still, I needed help....   
  


I picked up the and dialed. It rang. Once. Twice. "Hello? Kamiya residence," an older woman's voice greeted me.   
  


"Hello, Mrs. Kamiya. I was just wondering if Tai was home..." I hesitated. Did I really want to do this?.   
  


"He sure is! Hold on a sec.," she answered. Muffled, I heard her call out his name and, after a few minutes, the receiver was handed to him.   
  


"Hello?"   
  


Don't sound nervous... Act (oh jeeze!) casual. "Hey, Tai!" I said happily.   
  


There was a sustained pause. "Hey, Sora!" he replied after a moment, fake happiness filling his voice.   
  


I breathed in heavily. Should I...? Well, here went nothing. "Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to come shopping with me. I sort of need to pick something up." Oh Lord... What a cheesy excuse!   
  


".... Sure, why not?" I exhaled. He chuckled. "Whacha need? No, no-- let me guess... you have a 'hot' date with Matt tonight?"   
  


I winced. He knew. "Well now," I giggled, "I can't keep anything from you, can I?"   
  


"Nope!" It felt like he was smiling proudly, yet sadly. "I am, after all, your best friend." I couldn't help but notice how much emphasis he used on 'best friend.' I fought it aside.   
  


"Thanks! I guess I'll meet you at your apartment since it's closer...."   
  


"Cool. Fine, whatever. See you then." He hung up, leaving me to listen to the droning dial tone for a moment. Smiling warily, I placed the phone back where it belonged.   
  


"What was all that about?" Biyomon inquired sleepily, trudging towards me shakily. "You were yelling and throwing things just a little bit ago...."   
  


I felt my lips curl up in a sweet smile. She was such a caring, loving creature. I hugged her. "It's okay, Biyomon. Now," I said, pushing her gently towards the bed, "get some sleep."   
  


She yawned weakly and sluggishly trailed to her sleeping spot.   
  


"Sleep tight, Biyomon...," I whispered, tiptoeing to the door. I took one last glance at her peaceful slumber, then closed it behind me.   
  


~*~   
  


I figured that Tai was waiting in his room when he didn't come and meet me at the bottom floor. Walking up the stairs, my mind wondered. I hoped that I had enough money.... Also, I hoped that Tai was okay with all of this.... He had seemed so... upset. Stepping up to the door, I could hear a small conversation going on. It was between Tai and Agumon. Silently, I listened.   
  


"Tai, where are you going?"   
  


"I'm just going shopping with Sora for a little bit. She's got to buy something for her date tonight...."   
  


"Uh.... Don't mind my asking, but... what's a date?" I giggled to myself. Silly little digimon!   
  


Tai sighed. "It's where two people who care for one another go out and eat or see a movie."   
  


"Oh, I see now! Are you going on the date with her?"   
  


"Me? No...."   
  


"Why not? You care for her-- don't you?" I gaped at those words, covering my mouth so that I didn't make a sound.   
  


"Sure, I care for her... but she doesn't care for me the same way...." He scoffed. "We're 'just friends.'"   
  


I stood there confused, dazed, and feeling guilty. I did hurt him.... I never knew he felt that way.... I didn't know what to do. So... I knocked.   
  


"Coming!" There was some rustling, then Tai appeared, smiling. "Hey, Sora! Let's go bargain hunting!"   
  


~*~   
  


"So, what is it you need, exactly?" he asked me finally, after the long walk of silence while making our way down the mall's parking lot.   
  


I blushed lightly and locked my hands together. "Well... I was hoping to find a semi fancy-- but warm-- dress...." I looked away, embarrassed.   
  


He chuckled. "Where is he taking you?" I just had to laugh at his goofy face!   
  


I giggled slightly. "Oh, nowhere special. Just to the movies and some restaurant that he'd heard about from his father...."   
  


He lifted an eyebrow. "And I suppose that it's a really fancy one?"   
  


I nodded, feeling my face heat up. "Yeah...."   
  


He smiled, ruffling the red mop of hair on my head. We stopped right by the opening, his hand still resting on my hair... fingers intertwined in the strands. Oh man! What... what was he going to do?! My mind raced, and I quickly searched his eyes. They were serious. So serious. I felt like I was in a trance, lost within his deep brown eyes.... He blinked, shook his head, and suddenly walked to the door. "Come on, Sora. Can't take all day!"   
  


I stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what had just happened. Shaking it off, I scampered after him. "Wait up!"   
  


Quietly, we came across the 'cheapest' dress store in the mall. 'Feminine Works.' I groaned and slumped. "I don't know if I can do this...."   
  


Tai slapped me on the back reassuringly. "Never give up!" he piped, dragging me in by the arm. He spread his arms out wide, motioning to the racks of clothing. "Go-- find what you desire...."   
  


"O-Okay...." I glided past him, wondering what to buy.   
  


~*~   
  


"You can't be serious!"   
  


"What?"   
  


"You're going to wear that?   
  


I looked down at myself. It wasn't a bad outfit. A lovely white blouse looked pretty darn good with a silky black skirt. I'd just wear my thick, black coat to keep warm. Then again, the prices put together were rather high....   
  


"Sora, Sora, Sora...." He shook a finger. "You want something glamorous for the one you like, right?" I bobbed my head up and down, blushing madly. "Then come here!" He snatched my hand and marched to a small rack. He searched through it rationally, yanking out anything he seemed somewhat interested in. After pulling out at least a dozen different outfits, he turned to me and gave a small 'V' sign on his fingers. "One of these should work," he advised. "Plus, they're probably cheaper than that set you have on!"   
  


"Thanks..." Slowly, I moved to the changing rooms with my load. Tai was way too cheerful. Glancing back, I noticed a sales clerk approach him. She said something while smiling, and from what I could tell, he became agitated-- not to mention beet red-- and stormed to his waiting seat. The lady just chuckled to herself and went on with her duties. I entered my small room, confused as heck.   
  


I tried on a lot of dresses. Most received an 'It doesn't suit you,' or an 'It's not your color.' I was getting tired.... It was already 2:30. I sighed. This was the last dress.... It... it had to work. It just had to! Slowly, I revealed myself to Tai.   
  


He looked up... and froze. His mouth hung open slightly in awe, and I decided to look away. It was a beautiful long white dress made out of a very smooth material. I might get a little cold.... It was also sleeveless, but instead came with a pair of matching gloves that came up well past my elbows. Tai caught himself. Blushing, he nodded. "Nice. Very nice. I think that Matt will like it...." Lost. That's how he suddenly seemed to me.... I gently smiled and returned to change.   
  


Had I hurt him more? It was just that... he seemed so sad.... I, to myself, hoped that he was okay.... My best friend-- that's who he was. I didn't know what I'd do without him.... I came back out, carrying my purchase carefully. "Ready?"   
  


"Sure...." He stood up and walked over to the clerk at the register with me.   
  


Smiling, the woman rang up the price. $75.00. I winced. I couldn't get the dress after all.... "I-I'm sorry...," I muttered softly. "I think I'd like something-"   
  


"Here you go, ma'am!"   
  


Looking up, I saw Tai paying for the dress. He met my confused gaze with a wink. 'For you,' he mouthed, picking up the package, careful not to let it drag, and starting for the door. I stood there for a moment, stupefied by his actions.   
  


~*~   
  


"Mom!" I yelled. "Matt's going to be coming any minute!"   
  


"I know, Honey!" She walked up to me and gave me a reassuring hug. She had tears in eyes.... "Don't be nervous, that's the key thing. Everything will be fine!"   
  


I smiled at her. "Yeah, you're right. I mustn't worry...."   
  


The phone suddenly rang, causing me to jump. I laughed nervously while my mother answered the call. "Hello?" She listened. "Hold on, she's right here." Smiling, she handed it to me.   
  


I placed the phone to my ear and whimpered. Oh please, I thought frantically. Please don't let it be Matt calling to cancel! "Hey, Sora," a male voice said faintly.   
  


I let out a sigh of relief. "Hey, Tai!"   
  


"So, are you ready for your 'big date?'" he questioned, laughing.   
  


"Uh-huh.... I guess so...." Deep down, I was a bundle of nerves, but I didn't want to upset Tai.   
  


"Well then, I don't want to tie you down! Just try to call me afterwards...."   
  


Tai.... "Sure, I'll do just that," I whispered, grinning. The doorbell chimed. "Oops, that's him now. I guess I'll talk to you later!"   
  


"Have fun, Sora...," he mumbled, hanging up instantly. I felt somewhat disappointed... like I was hoping for him to say something more.... Nodding it off, I ran to the door.   
  


"Hey there, Sora." Oh Lord, Matt looked so good!   
  


"H-Hey Matt...," I stuttered quietly, a blush appearing on my face.   
  


"Shall we go?" He extended an arm.   
  


My mind went blank.... I wasn't totally sure anymore.... I reached out and excepted his offer. "Ready as I'll ever be."   
  


Oh, sure-- I had fun. We went to the movies and saw something from America. 'Castaway'.... Yeah, that's what it was called. It was okay, and I think Matt enjoyed it himself. Always did he keep an arm slung over my shoulder, and I just knew that my face was burning hot. And about the restaurant? It was fancy. F-a-n-c-y. Oh God, you don't know the half of it! It had large statues all over the place, picturesque waterfalls-- the works. The people there wore mink coats and had what seemed to be millions of pieces of jewelry on them. I felt like a pauper; Matt made it seem better. We ate, danced, chatted, you know the gig, all while exchanging glances when the other wasn't looking. I finally felt somewhat tranquil around him now, and my cheeks were probably less flushed.... At the end of our ordeal, walking to my house, he smiled at me and claimed to have had a great time! I went crimson. I then guessed that I wasn't completely tranquil around him yet.   
  


Once on my porch, he turned to me, enchanting me yet again with deep orbs of blue. "Sora.... I want you to know that I had a wonderful time."   
  


I melted. "I know.... You told me that earlier...." I felt like I was his putty to mold....   
  


He blushed, generally embarrassed. He cleared his throat. "Oh, yeah.... Anyway, I want you to know that you're a great-- superb-- friend." He paused, looking around.   
  


"F-Friend...?" I stuttered. Crick crackle crack.... There went my heart.... Bye heart-- I'll miss you....   
  


"Yeah...," he muttered, fidgeting slightly under the pressure. "I would still like to date and stuff, but I think of you as a friend-- a close friend-- at the moment.... Wait a while to see what happens...."   
  


Do NOT cry. Not a single tear. "That's fine...." I shielded my eyes.   
  


He sighed and grinned. "Great, Sora." He hugged me suddenly, causing tears to begin to show. Without noticing the wetness forming on my face, he strode down the walkway backwards and waved. "See you later, Sora!" he bellowed, then glided away... leaving me with a broken heart....   
  


~*~   
  


As soon as I made it in my room, I hurtled myself onto my tidy bed, sobbing heavily into a pillow. My heart ached; my whole world seemed as though it were nothing. My mind repeatedly tried to inform me that he still wanted to see me and be friends... but I didn't care. I was just grateful that Biyomon was able to sleep through my rasping tears. Why? I thought. What did I do wrong? I clenched my fists and allowed the sadness to envelop me.   
  


I laid there for a while to collect my thoughts, both my mind and heart bawling uncontrollably. Then, a voice filled my head: 'Just try and call me afterwards.' I glanced, with blurred vision, at the phone resting on my dresser. I was beginning to realize that I needed someone to talk to. Sniffling lightly while wiping away strewn tears, I traveled to my dresser. I picked the phone up shakily and dialed.   
  


It rang once. "Hello?"   
  


"Tai...," I muttered, chuckling, "did you stay up and wait for me to call?"   
  


He laughed. "Caught me!" All at once, I could make out the faint sounds of a T.V. in the background. "So, how'd it go?"   
  


Heaving a sigh, I rasped, "Well, I had fun, as did he...." I hesitated, eyes beginning to swell up. I stifled a cry.   
  


"Sora...? Are you alright?" he inquired, alarmed.   
  


I held back the pain-- or at least tried to. "He... he said that he just wanted to be friends right now...." No longer could I hold in my suffering. I sobbed on the phone, sliding down the side of my dresser to the floor, bunching up. I must have sounded so weak to Tai.... He'd probably hang up....   
  


What I heard next startled me. He sang. The song was one that we had once used as our song of friendship.... I quieted down to listen. "Every now and then, we find a special friend who never lets us down...."   
  


I smiled, brushing away my tears, and picked up where he had stopped. "Who understand it all. Reaches out each time we fall. You're the best friend that I've found...."   
  


I was beginning to feel better. A lot better. My life may be confusing... but as long as I had my best friend, I'd be fine. I closed my eyes and sang softly with Tai, laughing and putting my heart back together.   
  


~*~   
  


A/N: Konnichiwa, minna. After getting all those reviews for 'Anything For You'(That's the most any of my stories have gotten so far!) asking for sequel, I decided to add this to the little series. It's more or less a love triangle between Tai, Sora, and Matt, so you get both Taiora and Sorato. *Cringes* Don't kill me, I am a pure Taiora fan... I am going to write a third one based off of Matt's POV so please be kind!! ^-^'' This story was written out first in my smallest writing, and it filled three notebook pages front and back exactly. When typed in Corel WordPerfect, it filled over nine pages... Hehe...   
  


As for the last episode of Digimon02 in Japan... I am glad that Miyako and Ken were the official couple in the end! They look so kawaii together!^-^ And for those of you who saw the clip or the pics, so what if Sora's kid looks like Yamato's and vise versa... They were never standing close together like Miyako and Ken, so...*grins evilly* Perhaps a certain 'D' word happened between the so-called couple.... DIVORCE! ^o^ Mwhahaha.... Happens when you least expect it.... My heart bleeds... -_-' *COUGH*NOT!*COUGH* _ J/K... I wouldn't wish it on anyone.... Yup-- I'm a softy....   
  


*Sighs sadly* I have been having a bad year... A friend of mine had surgery on her back not that long ago(She's doing quite fine, though.) and there has been a lot of people at my school threatening others... But now, something happened that scares me... A kid I know from Gym class committed suicide Wednesday night(March 28, 2001)... I did not find out until first block Thursday morning...(I ,along with so many others, cried) Although I didn't know him as well as some of my friends, I still knew him... Nothing ever seemed wrong, except for his poems about dying. Everyone loved him. He was the kind of person who enjoyed to make you laugh. But know he is gone. I will be writing a small story dedicated to him using one of the chosen children. Please, minna, I want you to understand that there is always a better alternative. And if you know anyone who you think is on the brink of suicide, PLEASE tell someone... Thank you...-~Angel-Chan~ (updated) 


	3. Difficult Choices

Difficult Choices   
  
  
  
  
  


Girls . . . They're so easy to read... but so hard to understand. I mean-- they could stare at you, blush when they speak to you, run away if you come close enough, but... they may not like-- or love-- you. Aww.... I dunno.... Girls are girls, and we guys are guys. 'Can't live with them, can't live without them,' as they say. And it's true... heh, oh yeah.   
  


Anyway, my date with the lovely Sora had gone rather smoothly. She was a kind, gentle person with lots of love to give... and she had it bad for me. Come on, it's not like I couldn't tell. Then again... how did I feel about her? I wasn't sure. I felt something-- I just didn't know what. A voice deep down inside of me just said to spend more time with her-- to 'get to know' her. Would I listen? Would I truly do what that little rasping voice ordered me to? Who knew?   
  


And besides, I had another date to worry about.   
  


"Matt? I think I know what movie I want to see."   
  


I smiled and looked down. Mandi had the silkiest black hair I'd ever laid eyes (or hands) upon. Meeting the two crystals that had claimed themselves as her eyes, I mocked, "Really? And what might that be?"   
  


She grinned, exposing her pearly whites, and answered: "Pearl Harbor!"   
  


"Do you even know what had on happened that day?" She had to have known, I mean-- Japan wasn't exactly the 'good guy' back then....   
  


"Of course! But that's besides the point! It's a love story!" she hinted, dragging me towards the ticket booth. "At least... that's what I've heard. And it's from America!"   
  


"No, really?" I jested, faking an eye roll. Four bucks for a ticket? Dang-- and I thought concerts were pricey....   
  


She playfully punched my arm and let out a laugh. Man, I loved that laugh. I felt a tug at my heart.... Was I in love with two women? No, no... that would be wrong.... Then... why did I feel this way around both of them? How? How would I be able to tell apart the friendship feeling from the love feeling? Don't ask me, buddy, the voice cracked. I'm only here for the ride!Scoffing silently to myself, I tried to devise a plan. How could I? Sora and I went to the same school; Mandi went to one a couple of blocks away. Mandi and I both got along so well; sometimes it was hard to talk to Sora.... HOW?!   
  


Suddenly... while walking towards theater four, it hit me. Sure, it'd be both slightly cruel anddevious, but... who would find out? None of my school friends knew Mandi... and none of my friends from her school knew Sora.... The only problem now was... would I do it?   
  


Me and my difficult choices....   
  


"Yama? Matt? Hel-lo?"   
  


I snapped out of my trance. We'd past our stop.... "Sorry Mandi.... I zoned out," I muttered, turning around.   
  


She whispered, "That's okay, Yamie-Wamie...." I choked.... Her and her embarrassing nicknames.   
  


"MATT!"   
  


I froze in my spot. No. Please don't let it be.... Dear Lord-- I beg of you! Not her! I snatched Mandi's hand and zoomed into the darkened theater, hoping that she hadn't seen our escape....   
  


~*~   
  


"So... how's your vacation been, Matt?"   
  


"Huh?" I groaned, realizing that a conversation had been started. "Oh, it's been... you know," was all I could mutter. Lack of sleep could do this to a man. Sora sighed and looked up at the stars. Think about it-- me plus Sora at the park with the stars above our heads should at least equal a little romance; too bad for me that I didn't get any sleep last night.... After my date with Mandi (and after I set the first part of my plan into action), a certain someone had decided to 'camp out in front of my apartment room's front door.' And that... wasn't fun.   
  


"Winter's so beautiful, too.... Don't you think so?"   
  


"Yeah...." I wanted to say 'oh yeah, and so are you,' but sleep wanted to rule.... I hated it-- not being able to be romantic.... I yawned.   
  


Sora stood up from the park bench and smiled a small, caring smile. "If you're tired," she whispered, "I can go home...." She didn't want to, I knew, but... she wanted to put my health before her happiness. Man, she was sweet!   
  


"I... I guess you're right... sorry."   
  


She suddenly looked alarmed. "Don't be!" she exclaimed. When she realized what had escaped her lips, she blushed and looked towards the ground. "I-I mean...," she stuttered.   
  


Cute. Plain and simple. I motioned for her to not say anything. Patting the seat beside me, she got my little hint and sat down. "There now-- don't worry about me." I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She looked slightly confused... but she went along with it. Just do it, my mind told me. I guessed that I should-- I mean, I'd already set up the first part of the plan yesterday! So all I had to do was initiate step two.   
  


I breathed in and started: "Look, Sora... I know that a couple of days ago I'd said that it would be best if we were just friends... but now...." She looked up at me, eyes widening. Yes, Sora, yes. I was asking you to be my 'steady.' I cleared my throat. This had been a whole lot easier yesterday.... "I just want to know... will you be my girlfriend?"   
  


Tears bubbled up around her crimson eyes. Her mouth opened wide, but no sound came out; she abruptly shut it, nodded, and leaned against my shoulder. A happy sigh could be noted as well.   
  


Finally.... My plan had been enacted. What, exactly, was my plan, you ask? Why would I claim it to be so cruel and devious? Well... it was simple, really. I planed to spend my time with both girls to find out which one had truly claimed my heart.   
  


I know, I know.... 'WHAT? HOW CAN YOU BE SO... SO CRUEL AND... DEVIOUS, MATT?!' That's what you want to say, right? Well, I wasn't trying to be. I didn't want to hurt either of them, so I planed to keep low. None of my friends from one school knew any of my friends from the other, so.... Okay-- yes, it was cruel. I could admit to that. But I cared for both of them.... And, besides, it wasn't like anyone would find out-- right? That's what I thought.   
  


There's safety within groups, as they say. Well, I had two groups... didn't that mean that I had twice the safety? My head hurt... and I needed sleep. Well... at least they were happy, I thought, drifting off.   
  


For now, anyway.   
  


~*~   
  


The next two days went by rather quickly. I went to brunch with Sora both days, then took her to my band practices. You never know someone until you actually sit down and listen to their words; I learned that spending the morning with Sora. We talked for almost an hour and a half! Who knew we'd have that much to talk about? We would then stroll through the park to her mother's flower shop. With a peck on the cheek, she'd leave me to her work.   
  


And then I'd walk a couple of blocks to Mandi's apartment home. God, that girl knew how to shop... and how to snooker a few things out of me.... She just wrapped me around her little fingers like a ring.... Afterwards, we'd walk around the park (well, once... the next day we toddled around the streets of Odaiba...) and chat about what was going on with our lives during vacation. Finally... home-- well, her's first. Then I'd walk home with to little burning pecks on my cheeks.   
  


Of course, the next day was December 31st, also known as New Year's Eve. And my school was celebrating with a simple New Year's 'lock in.' Oh joy. Couldn't wait....   
  


I woke up early that morning and phoned Sora. "Sorry 'bout canceling our brunch today, but my cousin's really ill... and I promised Dad I'd visit. We'll be able to spend some time together tonight-- at the lock in, 'kay?" It was hard to straight-out lie, but I had gotten used to it....   
  


She just chuckled sadly and said that it was alright. Perhaps she'd take a walk and hang out around the park. "That's a great idea!" I offered lightly. "But don't overdo it-- you want to be able to stay up tonight!" She laughed; we said our goodbye's. Well... that went well....   
  


One more time! My fingers ran across the numbers without my thinking. I knew the number by heart, anyway. Just like I knew Sora's.... I was greeted with a cheerful, "Hello?"   
  


"Hey, Mandi? You remember how my school's going to have that lock in tonight? Well, how's about you and I go out early today so we won't be missing anything tonight?"   
  


"You mean I can't go to the lock in, Matt?" she mumbled, faking a cry.   
  


I let out a laugh. Why did she tease me so? "Students only-- none from other schools. Sorry!"   
  


A laugh emerged from the earpiece. "Alright. Meet me at the mall in an hour! I'll treat you to breakfast, and then you can treat me to lunch!"   
  


"Fine... whatever." Bad Matt-- don't lie.... "I'll see you then!" And with that, our conversation ended. A song (well... more like the melody) that my dad had listened to popped into my head.... One from this group called "The Monkeys"... or something like that.... I'd heard it only once or twice, but it talked about this guy who had to choose between two girls. Yeah... heh.   
  


I emerged from my room and knocked on my dad's door. He was a 'late' sleeper. A mumble came from inside; I began to get ready for my 'breakfast date.' Man... I had a long day ahead of me... and no sleep-- again.   
  


~*~   
  


Nothing could have prepared me for later that day. Mandi and I had just exited the mall when we bumped into him. Him meaning...Tai Kamiya.   
  


What was he...? He looked at me, acknowledged my presence... then looked at Mandi. Shoot! He'd better not.... It was too late, because within that moment he had pulled me off to the side.   
  


"What are you doing?" he hissed. What was up with him? It's not like I don't have 'cousins' or friends. Who was he to judge before he knew?   
  


I looked at him innocently. "Why, whatever do you mean, Tai?" Sure-- he knew that Sora and I were going out... but....   
  


His eyes burned with rage. "'Visiting a sick cousin' my arse! Who the hell is she?"   
  


He... he knew? But how did he...? "What are you talking about, hair-boy?" I demanded.   
  


"Sora invited me to go jogging! She told me that you were 'being a sweetheart and visiting a sick cousin!'" He scowled at me and shook his head. I can't believe you.... Two-timer! Cheater! Double-crossing, back stabber!"   
  


My hand flung over his mouth. Did Mandi hear?! No... thank God. She was talking to a donation person a while away. She laughed at the lady's words and looked at me impatiently. "Shut-up!" I scolded. "Just... shut-up!"   
  


He smacked my hand away. Idiot... he had better stop while he was ahead. "Sora loves you! How could you do that to her?" He looked upset.   
  


"I... I know that. Mandi cares, too. I-I don't want to hurt them,but... I just want to know who I love...." It was true. I wanted to know....   
  


He scoffed. "You really think that will work?" he whispered. "I'm sorry Matt.... Sora's my... my best friend, and I won't let her get hurt!" The way he said best friend... did he...? He did, didn't he?   
  


"You care for her, don't you? And it ticks you off that she's with me, doesn't it?" I chuckled as he blushed. "Well... I guess I'm the one that should be sorry.... But, listen to me-- it won't be much longer. And please, please, PLEASE... tell no one."   
  


He looked at me, brown eyes unsure, then shook his head angrily and stormed off. Would he listen? Would he keep it a secret? Did I know him that well? No... I didn't. I just hoped that he understood my methods....   
  


"Matty? Who was that?"   
  


I jumped. Mandi had reappeared by my side. Oh... it was just her. I laughed uneasily. "It was some guy from my school.... He was-- uh-- jealous... of me! He was jealous that I had a girl like you and he didn't!" Lame! Really LAME, Matt!   
  


Her eyes sparkled. "Ooh... really? Jealous?! WOW!" And I received a hug; I hadn't expected that. "That makes me feel so special now!"   
  


I let out a sigh. Life's a pain.... And what I didn't know was that it would only become worse....   
  


~*~   
  


"Students! Calm down! Please...?"   
  


The roar of the student body from the gym was enormous! Not only that, but the room was jam-packed! The teachers tried their best, but it was no use-- people just wanted to party. I defensively held Sora closer. Really crowded.   
  


Soon enough, the teachers disappeared to their various stations and the entertainment began. Thank the Lord... I was beginning to get a little peeved.   
  


"Matt?" Sora questioned. "You're not preforming...?"   
  


I laughed and swung an arm around her shoulder. "Nope-- it's you and me." She blushed deeply. She was quite cute when she did so. Trying out my 'picture perfect' smile, I dragged her into the dancing crowd. And so began the lock in. For once, I was actually prepared for a little fun... and spending some quality time with Sora.   
  


After about three fast paced songs, a slow one began. I outstretched my hand in offering. "Care to dance, Milady?" I asked, bowing.   
  


She giggled lightly and placed her hand on mine. It tingled.... My hand... had tingled.... I stood, smiled and started to position us into the 'slow dance' mode when....   
  


"Remember when... we never needed each other? 

The best of friends, like sister and brother...."   
  


Sora perked her head up. What was wrong? "Is that...?" she muttered, then fought her way towards the front. Was it who? Who?!   
  


"Sora! Wait up!" Who was she talking about? The person sang pretty good, but I didn't think that I knew him....   
  


"We understood we'd never be... alone.... 

Those days are gone, now I want you so much.... 

The night is long, and I need your touch...."   
  


"It is!" she exclaimed as she reached the stage set. I looked up. No way.... It was....   
  


"Tai...?" was all that I could muster. What the hell was he doing? Singing, duh..., stated that stupid voice. I brushed the comment aside and stared up at him. He had noticed us... or, at least he'd noticed Sora. Smiling, he went on:   
  


"Don't know what to say... 

Never meant to feel this way.... 

Don't want to be... alone tonight...."   
  


I looked from Sora to him, back and forth. It was like they were transfixed.... What was going on? Why wouldn't anyone tell me what was going on?   
  


"What can I do to make you mine? 

Fallin' so hard, so fast this time.... 

What did I say-- what did you do? 

How did I fall in love with you?"   
  


As he continued with the next verse, I took a quick glance behind me. A lot of people were dancing (Davis was glaring at T.K. and Kari...); those who weren't were staring at Tai in wonderment. Yeah, yeah.... He sounded pretty darn good. So what? It wasn't his song! At least I did my own ones! I let out a humph, and tuned my attention back toward Tai.   
  


"Oh, I want to say this right 

And it has to be tonight.... 

Just need you to know.... 

I don't want to live this life 

I don't want to say goodbye 

With you I want to spend the rest of my life!"   
  


I was finally starting to get it.... But... he couldn't. He wouldn't... would he? No-- he's not like that. Yeah. Still... perhaps it would be best to have a 'talk' with him sometime....   
  


"What can I do to make you mine? 

Fallin' so hard, so fast this time.... 

Everything's changed... we never knew.... 

How did I fall... in love... with you...?"   
  


A round of applause filled the gym. He smiled sadly. And then... as the music started to fade away completely and the mike was back where it belonged... he said it. Well, it was more of a whisper, and it was only meant for one certain pair of ears to hear....   
  


"I love you... Sora...."   
  


~*~   
  


A/N: Ooh! Cliffhanger! Well... sort of, anyway. *Realizes what she made Matt do* I'm so sorry, mina-chan! *Hides* Please don't hurt me! I... I'll be good.... I'll take my Yama plushie wherever I go! So, will you forgive me? I didn't think so.... 

Well... the next chapter will be up soon, because I am really getting into this story again! Tai's telling it next, and the chapter is entitled... 'And Then Came Pain.' *DUN DUN DUUUUNN!!* And if you do not review, I will become an unhappy teenager.... I will lock myself in my little attic closet until I am pleased with the reviews (or starve-- whichever comes first)! Hehe-- j/k, mina-chan. (But please review, even if it's to flame me! ^-^'') 

I am also updating the past chapters! Also, if you like Digimon Tamers, read my 'One Moment Too Late,' its sequel 'Between Pride and Love-- Tears Within the Darkness,' and 'Fated.' And with that said, I leave you, mina-chan. I hope you had a happy New Year! Ja ne!-Angel-Chan (Who watched the replaying of 'A Very Digi Christmas?' I didn't.... I've watched it twice.... Once, when it had first aired, and again when I wrote 'Anything For You,' and that's enough for me.... I know... 'face up to your fears!' But... why? Do I want to cry again? No... I don't. Ja.) 


	4. And Then Came Pain

And Then Came Pain   
  
  
  
  
  


"I love you... Sora...."   
  


I know, I know.... Not exactly something that should be said at that particular moment, but... after what he was doing to her, I had to say it. He had no right! Keeping such things from those girls.... It would only cause pain. So much pain.... Someone had to tell them! And that someone was going to be me.   
  


I walked off of the stage and into the layers of crapily hung curtains. Tonight would not be a fun night, and I knew it.... It ached in my bones; something painful was going to happen to me... that I was going to get hurt.... Oh well... at least she will know....   
  


"Tai?"   
  


What? I spun around. Low and behold... there she stood. Even though she was only in an old long sleeved t-shirt and pajama pants, she looked beautiful to me... not that I cared about looks.... She had always been angelic looking, but her personality was what really got to me.... "Yeah, Sora...?"   
  


Her crimson eyes wavered, and she looked away. "I.... What did you say... back there... what did you...," she stuttered. A light layer of blush formed on her cheeks. I smiled. She always did get embarrassed easily.   
  


"You heard me...," I whispered. "What did I say?" Walking up to her, I tried to bend down and look into her eyes. I had to look into her eyes.... To know that she knew... that she understood....   
  


She suddenly snapped her head up. Tears...? Was she...? "You said.... Did you mean...?"   
  


What was she talking about? 'Did you mean...?' Did I mean... what? Maybe... she wanted to know if I had meant what I said.... "Yes," I muttered, "I meant it.... Why would I lie...?" We were close now.... Almost nose to nose... 'cept that I was a little taller, but....   
  


She looked so confused now. It made me feel so bad... like I had hurt her... but in reality, it was nothing compared to what Matt was doing. Speaking of which....   
  


"Sora, I have to tell you something.... It's... it's important." Please... listen.... Don't turn away.   
  


Here eyes studied me unsurely. "Tai... I'm with Matt.... I am sorry if I hurt--"   
  


I grumbled, "Yeah, well... it's about Matt, actually...." Him and that 'Mandi' chick. I doubted that even she knew about Matt's little scheme.... "You see...," I started; I never got to finish....   
  


"What about me?"   
  


"Matt!" Sora cried. I let out a scowl. Darn it.... I made a guess that he had been listening to our entire conversation.... If so, then he was ticked....   
  


"So, Tai," insisted Matt with a sneer, "let's hear it." He already knew what I wanted to tell her... and I knew that he didn't want her to know.... So I scoffed and crossed my arms. Said I:   
  


"Nothing... at least, not anymore."   
  


Matt chuckled and gently pushed Sora towards the exit. "He's only joking," he lied. "Go on out and dance a little while me and Tai have a chat." I was going to get it.... Oh yeah.... He laughed and waved and waited until Sora was out of hearing distance; and then he stormed right up to me and flung his fist into my gut. The impact created a sickening thwunk. I let out a gasp for air and fell forward. God... that had hurt. And I had a feeling that he wasn't done yet....   
  


"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded, picking me up to face him by my hair. Pain surged through my entire body. "Well?"   
  


Better just tell the man. "Be... cause Sora has a right t-to know...."   
  


His eyes rolled in a mock. "'Because Sora has a right to know'" he mimicked, then flung my head down. I fell without any true sound. The best thing for me at the moment was to just stay still and shut up. "Well, don't. Just leave her alone. Leave us alone," he whispered. The guy had rage packed up in every single syllable stated. Yup-- he was ticked....   
  


With light taps, he left me to rot. So much for that friendship.... I guessed that I'd wait there until it was time for everyone to sleep. No... maybe I would go out sooner, but I had to avoid them.... I wasn't even sure if I could look Sora in the eyes now.... It would probably hurt too much....   
  


"Nights are lonely, days are so sad... 

I can't stop thinkin' about the love that we had.... 

And I'm dyin' inside... and nobody knows it but me...."   
  


The words came from my mouth in a soft rasp, but... that was how I felt. Hell-- I wasn't even sure that those were the right words to the song.... 'Sora....' Would we still be friends in the morning? Or had I truly lost you this time? I didn't know... because only Sora would be the judge... and with Matt being the plaintiff, it'd be hard for him to lose.   
  


~*~   
  


Morning came rather quickly, and I had already begun to roll up my sleeping bag when Sora approached me. I greeted her with a fake smile; she greeted me... with sadness.   
  


"Tai.... Matt told me that... that you're jealous...," she muttered.   
  


What?! "He said what...?" What was he planning now? Upset-- yes. But jealous?   
  


"Don't try... to lie, Tai...." Why did she look so hurt? "He said that you were trying to take me away from him...."   
  


Shocked. That's all that I was. Shocked. "Sora... I would never...," I began.   
  


"Don't!" she cried. She was crying again.... I had made her cry... again.... "Just... just leave me alone... okay? I want to be with Matt. Okay?" She looked up at me. I saw it in her eyes. She wasn't lying when she had said that she wanted to be with Matt... but she was when she told me to leave her alone.... No... Sora-- you couldn't....   
  


"Sora, I--"   
  


"Just... stop it. Please." Once she said that, she turned ("Goodbye, Tai....") and left the building... with Matt. Once again, I felt pain... but this time, it was in my heart.... Just like on Christmas... only it was much stronger.... With a cry of anguish, I fell to the ground and slammed my hands on the tiled floor. 'Sora... you idiot!' I didn't care who watched; Kari could even tell Mom and Dad later if she wanted too.... I just felt so... so stupid! I was my fault....   
  


All my fault.   
  


~*~   
  


I walked down the cold, deserted streets of Odaiba alone. Kari had offered to tag along, but I insisted on her walking home with T.K. and the others. Every once and a while a car would sploosh past me; none of the stores were open, either. This scenario suited me right now, anyway.   
  


It had just hit me that... I wasn't friends with Sora anymore... and that I hadn't accomplished what I had set out to do.... Why was my life turning into such a disaster? I lost two friendships... and maybe even a love.... God... I was so stupid.... I should have waited to tell Sora! Then I would have made sure that Matt wasn't around to interrupt. But... it was to late.   
  


What had gone wrong? Why hadn't it worked? Well... for starters, I hadn't been thinking clearly. My rage had been way above its boiling point. Man... Sora was going to get hurt, and it would be all my fault....   
  


I absentmindedly crossed the road. Did I bother to look both ways? No.... I was only thinking about my problems.... How many times had something actually been my fault? How many more times? Who would hurt me next? Who would I hurt next? And what would I--   
  


Beep! BEEEEP!   
  


What was that? I turned my head. A... a car...? My mind started shrieking at me to run... but my legs felt as though they had been glued to the snowy road by some invisible force. With a loud SCHREEEE! the car came towards me. It wasn't going to stop in time, was it? It was going to hit me... wasn't it?   
  


I let out a small, weak, sad sigh. This could be the end.... I mean... how many people survive from car wrecks? And even if I did....   
  


'Sora....'   
  


~*~   
  


A/N: Short, little chapter this time. Why? Well, partially because I have, like, five reports to type; and this next chapter (told by Sora) will be a long one... or at least I think so. Also... this is what you get when you drink two cans of pop, attempt to eat a tub of ice cream, and then try to stay up late on a school night.... ^^'' So please forgive me, mina-chan.... Oh, and the next chapter is called... 'I Love....' Sora will finally choose! (DUN DUN DUUUN!) But... will she be too late? And what of Taichi? Will he be alive to hear her choice? Only time (and the next chapter) will say. It should be up by next week! 

And, might I add, I think that I've fallen in love with dots/periods! ....................... You can probably notice throughout this story.... Heh.... Bad Angel-Chan, bad. Well... please review! I will eat more ice cream until I have a certain amount of reviews! *thinks* But I don't know how many I want, soo.... I dunno-- surprise me. REVIEW! *sniffles* Please...? Sayonara....- Angel-Chan (.........................) 


	5. I Love....

I Love....   
  
  
  


"Just... stop it. Please."   
  


And then I left. My mind was spinning; I felt like I was on a roller coaster going one hundred miles an hour. Who was I supposed to believe? Matt, my boyfriend? Tai, my best friend? Matt, who made me happy? Tai, who I'd known almost all of my life and could trust?   
  


I chose Matt. I left Tai to his jealous anger and rage-- or, at least that was what Matt called it. After Matt and Tai had their so called "talk," Matt had come up to me and said that Tai wanted to... to split us up.... I knew that Tai had feelings for me-- however deep they truly were-- but I never thought that he would go so far as to....   
  


"You don't believe me, Sora?" Matt said with a light tint of hurt in his voice.   
  


I wasn't sure... but I went along with it. He was the one I cared for, after all.... But now my heart hurt. I didn't know why, it just did. I felt as though I'd done something wrong... as though I'd made the wrong choice.... No! I made the right one! I chose what my heart had wanted! Yes-- that was it!   
  


Then... why?   
  


These questions racked my thoughts while Matt and I made our way back to my house (which was closer to the school than his apartment). Still... I shouldn't have been so... so mean. And... he'd said that he... and he'd meant it.... But I'm....   
  


Pain suddenly flooded into my body from... my heart. What was that? I looked towards the pain, but.... 'Where...?' Matt stared at me suddenly. I placed a hand over my heart. Nothing. Not a single hint of anything hurting me from the outside. Then what...?   
  


"Sora-- what's wrong?" he inquired, frazzled lightly by my sudden jumping. I stopped and took in a breath. It felt as though... a piece of my heart had been torn....   
  


"N-nothing...." I then added-- with a smile, of course: "I'm okay.... Let's just keep on going."   
  


And so we walked. Soon, I was able to forget all about that surge of pain I had felt. 'Who cares?' I reasoned. I wasn't really hurt. It must've been all that thinking... yeah! I had to stop doing all that thinking.... Because I could discover something I'd done wrong... and realize that I couldn't go back and change it. So I would just have to analyze it when it happened.   
  


"Sora?"   
  


I snapped back to the real world. Oh... we were at my house. "Sorry," I muttered, "for not paying attention...."   
  


He laughed; I felt something twinkle from inside of me. "Don't be sorry. Well, I had a great time." Giving me a quick peck on my cheek, he started to leave. "See you later!" he called, jogging off. Of course-- he was late on his early morning run. I chuckled lightly and entered the house.   
  


All was quiet. Mom was in the living room, and most of the lights were out. That was Mom-- she liked things dark. As I walked past to my room, I noticed that she was talking softly on the phone. I faintly wondered when it had rung-- if it had rung, that is-- and who was on the other end, then walked into my bedroom.   
  


"Welcome home, Sora!" peeped Biyomon, bouncing up and down excitedly. Did she wait for me? Well... at least Mom fed her. I mean, she wouldn't have let the poor thing starve, now would she? Chuckling, I set down my bag and plopped onto my bed. I began:   
  


"Thanks, Biyo.... So, how was it like with my mom? She mu--"   
  


"S-Sora? Honey? Please... come here...." Mom's voice was weak and sounded as though she would cry any minute....   
  


'What's the matter?' My mind jerked at a sudden thought. Something had happened, huh? I just knew it-- something had happened! Was... was it Dad? Did he get hurt? Really, he wasn't home much, but... the way she said it.... Something bad had happened to someone... someone close to both of us... to me....   
  


"What's wrong?" I asked; she looked up at me, the phone still in her hand. Tears were forming in her eyes, and she let out a weak moan. Something really bad.... Before I could try to ask again (and comfort her), she stood up and wrapped me in a hug. The hug felt as though it were to... to comfort me. 'But why would I need comforting? Sure-- if Dad were hurt, yes... but....'   
  


"I'm sorry, Sora.... I'm so, so, so sorry...." Her stuttered words barely made it to my ears. I was still as confused as ever. What was wrong?! Why would she be so sorry for me?   
  


"Mom, what's--"   
  


She pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. In them, I saw.... It hit me like a ton of bricks. No... it couldn't... be. "Sora.... It's Tai. It's Tai...."   
  


No.... "It... can't.... What...?" I didn't want to cry. Tears... why cry when I didn't even know what was going on? But still... they came streaming down my face. I rasped, "What happened...?"   
  


"He was only walking home," she explained, "and he didn't look.... Oh, God, Sora-- he didn't look! Some car came down the road, and...." Another sob escaped her lips and she held me close once more. "The person driving the car... took him to the hospital, but...."   
  


Tai... no-- it wasn't him! "No... he's... he's not dead, i-is he?" Guilt erupted from within me. I remembered the last things I'd said to him.... If he was dead, then....   
  


"No... but he's unconscious and in really bad shape...."   
  


The pang I had felt earlier came to my memory. Was it because...? Then... if it was... did I...? But... I loved.... I....   
  


A sob came from my mouth as I held onto my mother. "I... I should have walked home with him... but I...." I cried-- not out of pure sadness... but out of guilt. Guilt from hurting Tai in every way he could've been hurt... and by not realizing just how much I cared....   
  


~*~   
  


"Sora...."   
  


I snapped out of my trance. Kari stood up from her seat; her eyes were weary and tired and red with tears. Mine must've been that way, too, because she instantly ran up to me and gave me a hug. We stood there and sobbed absentmindedly for a few minuets, then walked over to the waiting room chairs.   
  


Mrs. Kamiya was leaning into her husband's shoulder for comfort. He, on the other hand, stared out at the wall. I supposed he was in too much shock....   
  


"How is...?" I started, not sure how to bring up the conversation.   
  


Kari shook her head. She whispered, "We don't know. The doctors are with him right now, and we may not find out until morning. Well... that was what Dr. Hisagi said...." Leaning back in her seat, she sighed. Like myself, she was still wearing the same thing as earlier. So... she didn't have time to change, either....   
  


"Does anyone else know...?"   
  


"No...," she claimed, opening her eyes and smiling weakly at me. "After what I had heard at the school, I thought that you would be the best one to call...." With a light, faded chuckle, she added, "Besides, it might be better if he woke up with you by his side...."   
  


A blush crawled up my neck. True... but what would I say? I had hurt him, and now I was only hurting myself. Sure, I still liked Matt, but I... did I love him? I wasn't so sure now.... God! I was supposed to be able to deal with this "love" stuff! I owned the crest of love, for goodness sakes!   
  


Then why couldn't I...? Why had I been so blind? So stupid?! And now Tai was hurt-- almost dead, really-- and it had been my fault....   
  


My fault. All mine.   
  


What had Tai wanted to tell me about Matt, anyway? I mean-- I never asked, and Matt never told me.... No, Matt had said that Tai was trying to break us up. And now... now I wasn't sure if he had told me the truth....   
  


Tears of pain flowed down my cheeks as I closed them. I needed rest for the time.... A nice, long rest from the troubles of life.   
  


~*~   
  


I awoke to a light sob coming from in front of me. My eyes rolled lazily to the clock. Eight seventeen...? Must've been P.M., because I had left the lock-in at ten.... Man... I'd been there for a while....   
  


Turning my attention back to the noise, I saw a young boy curled up in one of the chairs. His messy light brown hair was damp-- probably from melted snow-- and shined dully in the room's light. Groaning, I cautiously nudged Kari.   
  


"Wake up," I muttered. With a yawn, her eyes slitted open. I nodded my head towards the boy. "Do you know him?" I murmured. 'He might be here for Tai,' I wagered. The younger girl's head shook. Was I surprised? No... not really.   
  


"No...."   
  


"Well... let's go see if he's okay." I felt sorry for the boy. He looked so helpless and upset.... He reminded me... of myself... of how I felt.   
  


We tiptoed across the room; quietly, I bent down to his level while Kari sat in the chair next to him. "Hey...," I whispered. He didn't seem to have heard me. I tried again: "Hey...." His head popped up. Tears were still pouring from his beautiful light brownish eyes. He moaned:   
  


"W-what do you... wah-want...?"   
  


I smiled sadly. So innocent... yet so full of pain. "What's the matter...?" asked I.   
  


Kari added, "You'll turn into a waterfall if you keep that up."   
  


A forced chuckle escaped his lips. "Wha... why would you care? You don't know me...." His head lowered. The poor boy... something must have happened to someone really close to him....   
  


"Please... it may help if you tell us...," Kari pleaded before I could answer. I gave her a fake glare and she just laughed at it. The boy looked away, but gave in.   
  


A friend of his (well... they were as close as she would let him) had been acting strangely lately. Today... today she had not come to the park; he'd invited a whole lot of people to a little party. When he went in search for her, he quickly discovered that her parents (mother and grandmother, actually) had not been home. He entered the house anyway. That's when he found her... laying on her bed with blood seeping from her arms. At the time, though, she was awake. She hissed at him to leave and let her die; he told her that he wouldn't-- he cared too much to let her leave him for good. But... before anything else was said, she passed out from the lack of blood. He then covered the deep cuts and ran her to the hospital.   
  


"I... I don't want her to go...," he muttered, on the verge of crying again. My heart itself was sobbing for this boy.... I leaned forward... and hugged him.   
  


"It'll be alright...," I told him. "She'll be just fine-- you did the right thing...." Unlike me.... I had not done anything right... had not helped Tai in the least.... And if he did die....   
  


"Sir?" We looked up. A doctor was standing before us, smiling slightly and holding a small clipboard. "I think she will be just fine. We've already contacted her parents, but if you would like to see her...."   
  


Without any second thoughts, the child stood and moved over to the doctor. "Is she awake?"   
  


"No, she won't be for a while, but...." We watched them walk down the hall. Inside, I was happy for him. Everything would be just fine. His friend was going to live, and he had been the one to save her. As for me....   
  


"Come on...," Kari said, guiding me over to our empty chairs. I let out a loud sigh. She looked at me with sadness in her eyes. "You okay?"   
  


No... I wasn't. My heart hurt, my head ached, and I felt like I was alone in a sea with no boat. "Yeah... I'm okay...."   
  


~*~   
  


Fifteen minutes had passed when a doctor approached us.... His face was grave and shiny from sweat. When my eyes met his, he smiled; I wasn't sure what kind of smile it was.... Forced, sad, weary, happy...? Who knew? Not me, that was for sure.   
  


"How is he, Doctor?" Mr. Kamiya asked hurriedly. So then... he was still aware of what had happened, even though he had been in a trance-like state the entire time I'd been there.   
  


Mrs. Kamiya arose. "Yes-- is he okay?"   
  


The doctor slid his glasses off and wiped them. "For now...." Putting them back on, he motioned for us to follow. "But it now depends on how strong he himself is...."   
  


How strong he was...? "He is strong!" I exclaimed. He was! Out of all the people I knew, he was the bravest, strongest, proudest person ever! I couldn't believe that the doctor thought he was weak!   
  


"Really? And who are you, young miss?" he asked slyly. I felt myself heat up as I looked away. Stupid me... always talking before thinking. That was why I was the shy, quiet type.... I neverknew the right things to say....   
  


"Tai's best--" I stopped. Was I still his friend? Was I... was I anything at all?"--friend...."   
  


He smiled a little wider than he had before, opened a door (number 105) and ushered us inside. I walked in... and froze when I saw him.   
  


He... he looked so weak.... His right leg was propped up and wrapped in a thick cast; he had a large bandage around his head and a patch over his left cheek. I was forced to imagine what his injuries were elsewhere because of the blanket that was pulled up to his chin.... Tears were born again. "N...no...," I rasped, shaking and bringing my hands to my face. "T-Tai... no...."   
  


Dr. Hisagi walked over to me and patted my back. "It's okay. He's just out cold, although I don't know when he'll wake up...." He slowly led me over to a seat beside Tai's bed; his parents were on the opposite side. "All that we can do is hope...," he whispered.   
  


I nodded meekly and took his offer. The light beeping sent chills up my spine. If those beeps were to stop.... "Tai...? I-It's me, Sora...." I reached out and took his hand. Oh... it was... cold. So cold.... Not freezing, but not warm, either.... "Please... get better.... For the sake of your parents... and sister," I mumbled, leaning forward in my chair to lay my head next to him, "and... for me....   
  


"I've got something to tell you... but if you're not awake, you can't hear it.... So wake up soon...."   
  


~*~   
  


The next week went by like a year to me.... Every single day I would wake up and go stay by Tai's side until it was time for all visitors to leave. His parents did this also, but not as often-- they had a life, you know? Plus, Kari had gotten a slight case of the flu, so she was stuck at home; in turn, I called her after my visitations.   
  


All the while, I completely ignored Matt.... He called, and my excuse was that I "felt ill." Well... Mom was the one who usually answered the phone, so it was basically her excuse. But... it didn't bother me in the least. I wasn't sure why.... Slowly, his calls faded... but they didn't die. And then....   
  


School started up again.   
  


I left home early and walked to the hospital. I "informed" Tai of this, whined that I didn't want to go and finally said that he had better get his butt in gear and get better. With that said, I left.   
  


The walk to school wasn't that hard-- I mean, I didn't live that far from the school, and the hospital was closer, anyway. As I entered the crowded grass area, though, I bumped into Matt....   
  


"Sora!" he exclaimed. I looked up, realizing suddenly that I had been crying. "W-what's wrong, Sora? Are you hurt?" I looked at him. God... I didn't want to talk to him... didn't want to face him. I knew that I didn't even....   
  


"Hey, Sora!" I turned towards the voice. It was Hitomi.... She ran up to me and gave me a hug. "I heard what happened...," she said, starting to walk me to the door. "How is he? How are you?"   
  


I shook my head softly. It hurt.... How was he? I didn't know.... How was I? I didn't know that, either.... "I'm not sure on either, Hitomi...." We then walked into the school... leaving Matt to confusion.   
  


~*~   
  


I ran to the hospital right after the bell rang. I had to visit Tai-- it was my new "ritual," you could say.... That, and I wanted to be there if he were to wake up.... As soon as he was awake, I would tell him exactly what was in my heart. Hell, I'd practiced it for a while now.... But still... I've always heard that saying things in person was considerably harder....   
  


Then... how hard was it for Tai to say it to me...?   
  


The hospital! It wasn't really busy, but there were a few patients roaming the halls. The poor people... bored out of their minds and trapped here until they were healed completely....   
  


"Get back here!"   
  


I froze. Who was that? Spinning, I saw a black-haired nurse chase after a wheelchair patient. Oh... man. Were they coming towards me?! They were!   
  


"Wench! I can't take another minute in this hell hole!" he cried, long black hair flowing as he raced past me. His harsh words surprised me; they didn't seem to effect the nurse, though... Quite the contrary, really-- it only seemed to make her even angrier.   
  


"You jerk!" she raged, no longer caring that she was trying to set a 'good example.' "Get your butt back here right now, or you'll never see the light of day again!"   
  


His head tilted back slightly as he laughed mockingly. "Feh! Like you would hurt me!"   
  


The woman let out a shrill screech, stormed down the hall and skidded around a corner. All the while, I stood there... stupefied. Good Lord... if that was what the hospital was like when people weren't looking, then.... I shuddered. No-- that was just some guy too stubborn to wait and heal... yeah.... Besides, Tai wasn't even awake yet.   
  


Speaking of Tai... I had to go see him, didn't I? Sighing, I opened a door. Having come here so often, I had the stupid number memorized.... How pitiful was that? Really now-- how pitiful? Well... pitiful enough to argue with myself about it, eh?   
  


'So... he isn't awake yet...,' I thought as I popped my head into the room. It was the same as it had been this morning.... No progress...? But... he was getting better, right? His injuries were healing well, right? Right?   
  


I sat next to Tai's bed. He still looked so weak.... There was no expression at all on his face.... God... it used to always light up in a corny sort of way.... Always joking-- that was Tai. He could always find a way to make me feel so happy inside.... And safe....   
  


I couldn't believe myself. I was so blind! Why had I not noticed it until I'd come so close to losing him? But if he had never gotten hurt, I would still be with....   
  


I took his hand. Well... at least it was warmer this time... and more reassuring.... A lot more reassuring. "So, Tai, you missed the first day of school after Christmas break. You lazy bum...," I muttered. Earlier on, I had promised myself that I would not cry. It wouldn't help him, so why do it?   
  


"And, no, I will not help you with any homework when you're better." I laughed falsely. "S'your fault." Don't cry, Sora.... Don't....   
  


Suddenly.... 'What?!' I jumped. Did he...? Had I felt...?   
  


I looked down. Had he squeezed my hand? But I thought that he was unconscious! He let out a light moan. Was he awake...? He... he had to be! Oh... please be awake, Tai!   
  


Weakly, his head rolled over towards me. "S... S-Soh...," he rasped. It sounded as though he had never spoken before... and it made me giggle lightly. I wanted to hit myself for doing so.... That wasn't why I was there! Wasn't there to laugh at him!   
  


I smiled and held his hand tighter. "It's me, Tai...." Yes... and I had something to tell you.... something that I should have realized and said so long ago....   
  


"Wha.... S-Sora... Wha...t hap...?" he muttered, groaning as he tried to adjust himself; it had to have been hard, especially when he had his leg still in a cast (at least it wasn't hanging anymore) and countless bandages all over his body. He cleared his throat a couple of times.   
  


"Here," I offered, handing him a small cup of water that was sitting on a makeshift dresser. He nodded, sat up and drank. I felt a pang of fear when his face twisted with pain as he did so. His pain was my pain... or, at least I thought it was....   
  


He coughed a small "thanks," then gave me the empty cup. "Sora... what happened?" he asked, his voice rising with fear. Fear? In his voice? But... why? Then again... everyone gets scared-- it's normal....   
  


'Kitto kitto bokutachi wa 

Ikiru hodo ni shitte yuku 

Soshite soshite bokutachi wa 

Ikiru hodo ni wasureteku....'   
  


"You... you're in the hospital; you've been here for over a week, really...," I said. 'And I've visited you every day... because I want to tell you that I l....' I shook my head. Not yet.... "You were hit by a car.... The driver claimed that you didn't look, but your parents aren't going to do anything until they hear from you."   
  


'Hajimari ga aru mono ni wa 

Istu no hi ka owari mo aru koto 

Ikitoshi ikeru mono nara 

Sono subete ni....'   
  


Tai nodded solemnly. He was thinking, and I knew it. Whenever he did so, his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze slid down to the ground. But... about what? "Well... the driver was right." My jaw dropped about five feet. What?! Then.... "I wasn't paying any attention," he whispered. He was still staring at the ground. There was some kind of look on his face.... Was it pain? More fear? What? He went on: "I was still thinking about what... what you had said...."   
  


'Moshimo kono sekai ga shousha to haisha to no 

Futatsukiri ni wakareru nara 

Aa boku wa haisha de ii 

Istudatte haisha de itain da....'   
  


I felt myself go numb. That! I'd completely forgotten about that! So... I was right-- it had been my fault.... "Tai... I--"   
  


Shaking his head, he murmured, "You don't have to say anything...." A smile formed on his face. A smile... but a fake one. Why was he doing this...? "I know how you really feel about me...," he added, voice trailing off as he lulled his eyes back to the ground.   
  


'Kitto kitto bokutachi wa 

Kanashii hodo ni utsukushiku 

Yue ni yue ni bokutachi wa 

Kanashii hodo ni kegareteku....'   
  


Jerk! "I can't believe you! I've visited you every day and that is all you have to say? 'Leave me alone-- let me mope'?" The tears that I had fought off for so long finally found their way out. I couldn't believe him! And I had always thought....   
  


'Mamorubeki mono no tameni 

Kyou mo mata nanika wo gisei ni 

Ikitoshi ikeru monotachi 

Sou subete ga....'   
  


"Sora...?" I looked up at him. Was I blushing? Well... I knew I was red-- I mean, I was crying.... "Don't try to make me feel any better.... Go on-- go to Matt...." His face twisted with disgust. "You really don't seem to care what he's doing behind yo--"   
  


I couldn't help it any more.... The Tai I knew would never back down! He never talked like that! It was pitiful! But... I had done it to him.... I cried, "I'm not trying to make you feel better! I'm trying to make you see that I... I love you!"   
  


'Moshimo kono sekai ga shousha to haisha to no 

Futatsukiri ni wakareru nara 

Aa boku wa haisha de ii 

Itsudatte haisha de itain da....'   
  


His face turned pale; just as quickly, though, it heated up. "Don't," he scoffed, eyes nervously searching the wall opposite of me, "be silly! You love Matt! You can't l--"   
  


'Boku wa kimi ni nani wo tsutaerareru darou....'   
  


My lips met his. No more words... just like the beautiful song.... Perhaps... perhaps he would realize that I meant the truth this way... with no true words....   
  


'Konna chibboke de chiisana boku de shika nai 

Ima wa kore ijou hanasu no wa yametoku yo 

Kotoba wa sou amari ni mo 

Toki ni muryoku dakara....'   
  


He felt stunned, stiff and a little edgy; as for me-- well... let's just say that I had never been kissed (let alone kissed someone!), either.... But... I was willing to learn. My inexperienced lips tempted his own, but he still seemed too scared....   
  


Had I done something wrong? God... I always did something wrong! I prepared myself to pull away when... he relaxed. His arms went around my waist and he faintly returned my kiss. Oh... it was so sweet... like... honey. And I suddenly wanted forever to become real... just so that we could be together within it.... But forever was not real, and like all good things... it ended.   
  


We pulled apart, taking in the breath we had lost. I looked into his eyes; he, in turn, looked into mine.... All that I could see was happiness... and love. So then... this was the love I was searching for.... Silly me... how hard could it have been to find?   
  


"I... I love you, too... Sora," he rasped, bringing a hand to my face. When he wiped away my tears, I noticed something.... He was crying....   
  


"Idiot...," I scolded, trying to grin. "I already knew that!" Of course! He'd told me at the lock-in!   
  


He flushed. "Yeah... well.... You know...." An old, rusty, goofy laugh escaped his mouth. He was back... that courageous numbskull of a leader.... The one I had fallen in love with and didn't even notice. 'Stupid Tai....' But he was my Tai.... Mine.   
  


I looked at the clock hanging above the door... and groaned. It was time to go.... "Here... let me help you get situated...."   
  


"You have to leave...?" he whined as I gently got him to lie back down. If he hurt himself any more.... "But I want to...talk about stuff."   
  


Good Lord.... I chuckled and straightened myself back up into a standing position. "Tomorrow." Yeah... after school.... Yay-- what fun. And what about Matt? What would I tell him?   
  


Tai sighed. "Okay.... But... come 'ere...." What was he talking about? I looked at him strangely. "I have to tell you something now," he muttered, a childish smile pervading upon his face. "Come 'ere...."   
  


Oh... I understood what he was talking about and bent forward with a grin. How? How could I not have noticed this extreme love for him? Why had I been so blind? Within inches of his face, he slowly reached up and tilted my head... and kissed me once more.   
  


Sweet honey.   
  


Forever.   
  


Or so I wished.... Upon placing his lips to mine, the hospital room door swung open... and a shriek of rage rang out right afterwards..... It caused both of us to instantaneously snap apart. This time, the enraged voice formed words....   
  


"What the hell...?!"   
  


~*~   
  


A/N: Gomen ne, mina-chan! I didn't want it to take so long! School really tied me back, though. Last week was the end of the first semester, and exams and finals were popping up all over the place! Then... a three day weekend. I know, I know-- I should've posted this then, but... I didn't like how it turned out, so I rewrote it.... Heh.... And this week was the beginning of the third nine weeks, which meant that I had to start FOUR brand-new classes! Well... if you know (or put up with) the term "block scheduling," then you know what I mean.... If you don't, let me tell you that it is a pain! You have five periods a day; the first semester you take four of the eight courses you signed up for, then they replace them in the second semester with four new ones! Argh! Oh well... at least I received all A's on my report card! (Although I now have to keep it that way.... Mom wants me to become "valedictorian." Yay....)   
  


Ahh.... I finally got to write some Taiora!!!! It makes me feel so happy! No more Sorato! But... I still don't like how this chapter turned out... even if it IS a second-time job.... If any of you agree with me, just say so in your review-- I may retype it ONE MORE TIME! Heh....   
  


Mina-chan! Who noticed the guest appearances? Can you name them all? There were three who had speaking parts, and one was "off stage." If you are able to name all four (hell, you can name the couple name for one if you want) in either your review or an e-mail, I'll send you a picture for this story series! (Go to my little webpage to see how I draw!) Remember! If you review the answers, leave your addy! (Speaking of pics... DC? You out there? I remember replying to your one email about "Tamer VS Tamer" a while ago, but my email address semi died.... ^.^' I got it to work again, but I don't know if you ever got it, so.... If you want, I can resend them if you!)   
  


I remember saying that I would make it up to you for having chap. 4 so short.... Does this work? It's really one of my longest fics ("Between Pride and Love" was the longest....). I promise to get chap. 6 out as soon as I can-- maybe by Friday or Saturday. And the song "No More Words" does not belong to me.... It is such a beautiful song, though...(it's sung by Hamasaki Ayumi). DOWNLOAD IT! If I get enough reviews, I will fly through my courses and get all of my old stories finished. If not... I will turn into Ruki and let the darkness take me over.... Understand? Well, ja!-Angel-Chan (Now that I think about it, does anyone know anything important about the second Tamers movie/ sixth Digimon movie? I wanna know! Ja!) 


	6. Downhill from Here

Downhill from Here   
  
  
  


"What the hell...?!"   
  


Okay, back up. What's going on, you ask? Well, earlier today, Sora had totally ditched me (it wasn't like I hadn't noticed her... 'awayness' the past week), and I wanted to know why. So I did what any reasonable guy would do: I asked around. That was when I learned that Tai was in the hospital; the idiot let himself get hit by a car! When someone asked why I hadn't known, I just said that my band had been too busy practicing... heh. Mandi had taken me out almost every day last week when she heard that I wasn't busy.   
  


Then, an idea hit me. I figured that Sora was riding the guilt boat for telling Tai off and felt that she should keep him company. If I were to go and 'visit' my old friend, maybe she would come back to me! So there I was, nervous for some odd reason, standing outside of Tai's hospital room. With a sturdy hand and a quick clear of the throat, I swung the door open. What I saw made my blood boil.   
  


Tai. Sora. Kissing.   
  


I let out a scream of rage that sent the two apart. "What the hell...?!" I demanded, slamming the door behind me. She had no right to do that! A small voice tried to tell me that I had been doing almost the same thing, but I knocked it out of the way.   
  


Sora looked frightened..... 'She should be,' I thought. "Matt... I can explain!"   
  


"Don't," I spat, scowling and feeling my face burn with anger, "try. You were cheating on me, weren't you? I gave you my love, and what did you do? You--"   
  


Tai sat back up and glared at me. "If anyone should be told off for cheating, it should be you!" I choked. The little....   
  


"Wha... what do you mean, Tai?" Sora questioned softly. Her face twisted into a mixture of confusion and fright. He... he hadn't told her yet! But then again... who would she believe? Who?!   
  


I sneered. I hadn't expected him to be so strong yet. "You don't know anything."   
  


I almost fell over when he laughed. His chuckle was raspy and faded, but it still held all of the emotions intended. "Oh yeah?" he mocked. "Tell her about that Mandi girl-- tell her where you really were that morning before the lock in."   
  


Sora's hands clenched into small balls; her face became shadowed. She knew who to believe. Then again... it wasn't that hard to choose. My actions weren't appropriate for someone who 'hadn't' cheated. Tai had won... hadn't he? I'd lost Sora.... I cared for her... and now I lost her. GOD! Why was I such a jackass at times?!   
  


I watched as Sora stood up and walked over to me. Her orange hair bobbed gently. "Sora...," I pleaded. "I can explain every...."   
  


Her eyes were what stopped me. The crimson ovals gazed out at me with pain swimming at their cores. I wanted to answer, but I felt that I had no right.... And then... she hit me. It didn't hurt-- I've been slapped much harder-- but the way she had done it.... I'd never forget... the way she slapped me....   
  


"How...? Why...?" She closed her eyes and gathered her thoughts. "How could you call me a cheater... when you were the one who was...?" A sob cracked in her lips, and she flung around to Tai. I could tell that he knew exactly what she was going through, and although he felt bad for me, I knew that he would never forgive me....   
  


I opened the door... and exited. Tears wanted to me released; anger wanted me to hit something; friendship, a trait that was supposed to be my best, seemed to float away.   
  


I shouldn't have done that.... It hurt someone I cared about. She... she probably never wanted to talk to me again... and I'd never have her love shine upon me.... By one little choice... I had screwed up my life.   
  


The thing was... how long would it take for the damage to heal?   
  


~*~   
  


The next eight days went by me in a daze. Tai was finally allowed to go home; he couldn't go to school until his leg cast was removed, though. Sora completely ignored me-- even when we were in the same class and working together on some project. Mandi called, but I said that I hadn't been feeling well. I got a little "my poor baby" coo and we said our goodbyes. And then....   
  


It was early Saturday morning. Since I had nothing to do, I felt the strange urge to just... bake. No-- I didn't cook all the time. I was pretty good at it though, so it wasn't too bad. Just as I pulled out the tomatoes (ahh... homemade spaghetti sauce), the phone rang.   
  


I ran, dodged the low hanging bookshelf, and snatched up the receiver. I was hoping to invite Mandi down and knew that she usually called about that time, anyway. "'Ya-llo?"   
  


A pause. "Matt...?" It was Mandi, all right, but.... "Is that you...?"   
  


Uh-oh. I did not like the tone of her voice.... "Yeah, it's me. Mandi? What's wrong?"   
  


"Is it true," she whispered, holding back a sob, "that you used me and another girl?"   
  


'Used?' Who told her that-- who told her any of it?! I didn't use either of them! "I didn't use you!"   
  


Another pause. This one was longer. Was she going to believe me? "Matt... I really wish...." A cry came to my ears. It was hurting her... no. I was hurting her.... Just like I had hurt Sora. "I really wish I could believe you," she mumbled. I felt my heart crack. She...?   
  


"I started to fall for you, you know? But after I learned of your 'other life,' I...." No longer was she able to hold in her pain and agony. "I want you to leave me alone!" With one more sob, a click entered my ears. She had hung up.   
  


'I want you to leave me alone!'   
  


Her final words stuck the cords of my heart. All that I could think of was that I had no one. Sora left me. Mandi left me. My heart had broken hearts, and now it was time for it to be smashed. I... I deserved no one. Why had I sunk so low as to do that?!   
  


I... hated myself.... All because I was too unsure of a stupid choice... I had hurt two of the people I--yes... I finally knew-- loved. To think... neither one would want to love me back now....   
  


Who had told her? An image of a guy with long, messy brown hair and mischievous chocolate eyes popped into my mind. I growled. Tai... he was the only one who knew what Mandi looked like.... He must've told her! But... why would she believe him?   
  


Sora.... She must've gone with him when.... Oh, God. I... my life.... Why did life have to hurt so much?! I cried and cried until the stove caught my eye.   
  


Time to cook. Time to get my mind off of the hurting. Time to....   
  


~*~   
  


"Hey, Matt? You need a ride home?"   
  


"Nah... I'll walk."   
  


"Fine-- suit yourself."   
  


It was the beginning of February... almost one month after all of my pain. Sure, I was feeling better and everything...but my friendships did not mend-- in fact, they only worsened. Less people wanted to be around me nowadays; if it weren't for my band, I'd practically be alone. Still... no more fan girls or things like that. I had deceived the world and hurt many. Why should someone trust me after pulling a stunt like that?   
  


I just wished that someone would. It was much too lonely to go on with life having no one take care of you... watch you... love you. Perhaps Sora and Tai were meant to be... even if I had made the correct choice. Perhaps Mandi and I were to separate... even if I had chosen back when I had the chance. It was done. That part of my life was over.   
  


I still hated myself, though.   
  


Winter roamed the streets, blowing the snow around. It nipped at my nose lightly and made me sneeze. I hated winter.... I hated it more so, now. I had too much to think about this time of the year, and my stupid actions only made them worse. If I were able to, I'd probably hit myself....   
  


"Matt...?"   
  


The voice was soft, pushed and a little scared. I turned. Who would want to talk to me anymore? Not some who knew me, I guessed. If that were the reason, they'd find out why sooner or later. Then... who I saw made me feel numb all over.   
  


"J... Jun?" I croaked. Jun Motomiya. Davis's sister. She was a big fan of my group... well, mostly of me. Might I say that I put a lot of emphasis of the word 'big?' I hadn't heard much from her since the Christmas concert.... She must have heard of Sora and my hookup.... I mean, I hadn't seen her for a while....   
  


She whispered, "Why...?" I felt my numbness only grow stronger. 'Why,' what? What was she talking about?! A smile, a sad one, formed on her face. My confused look must have given her my question. "Why did you do it? Trick all of us like that?   
  


"I... I tried to forget about you, you know, once I found out that you were with Sora. I pretended that I liked some other guy." She giggled, probably remembering the moment in great detail. Ya know... in the moonlight, with the snow all over, she looked... different. Almost... beautiful. No! Wait! I couldn't start thinking of things like that! I didn't want to be like that guy in A Walk to Remember! She went on:   
  


"But still... no matter what I did, I thought of you." Her eyes saddened, and a tear ran down her cheek. Was... was this the same Jun that I had been so afraid of...? Did she really care about me that much...? "And then I heard that the two of you broke up; I was so ecstatic! I thought that I would have a chance again!" A pause. "Then I heard the reason for the break up...."   
  


Her face turned so that she could look directly into my eyes. What...? What was she trying to tell me...? What?! "Why would you hurt people who love you? Why would you misuse their trust... and everybody else's as well...?"   
  


Something pinched my heart. She was right.... Why had I? I... didn't know. Now that I had actually thought back, I realized that I had only done it because I thought that I wouldn't get caught. But... I never meant to hurt either of them.... I just wanted to know who I truly cared about. I just wanted to....   
  


"I don't know...," I whispered, shivering from things other than the coldness. She nodded meekly and turned to go. "But," I called out to her, "I am sorry... sorry for everything...."   
  


Her head turned, and I could have sworn that I saw a grin. "I know," she muttered. "I know...."   
  


~*~   
  


I had mail; it was a rare occasion. And the really odd thing about it was that it was sent the old-fashioned way-- postal. Strange... there was no return address. Shrugging, I tore open the top. Junk mail, I supposed. Once the paper was unfolded, the first line hit me like a ton of bricks.   
  


Matt, 

It's been a while; don't know how you've been fairing. We were all wondering... well, we're having a digidestined get-together-- just the Odaiba digidestined-- next Thursday. It'd be nice to see you again. Don't worry. Old grudges aren't supposed to taint friendship, right? Look... I know it's been a long time, and I have to admit that neither Sora nor I forgive you completely, but life goes on, I suppose. Just... well, if you can, come visit! Bring Gabumon and any of your family! Oh, and Sora says you'd better bring some type of food; don't worry, though, she's just jealous of your cooking! Well, I hope to see you there! 

Tai 

P.S. Look, pal, I'm sorry about Jun.... I heard what happened a few years back. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where I live. Heh, I still don't know if that's a good thing, though....   
  


I stood there in shock as the memories flooded back. What I'd done to Sora. What I'd done to Mandi. What I'd done to myself. I... I thought that they hated my guts and never wanted to talk to me again.... There was only one person who took my hand and lead me through it. Jun. Without her... without her, I wouldn't be doing what I had always dreamed of. I wouldn't be a traveling, famous singer.   
  


Still... Jun left me-- not it the way you think, though. She died... in a car 'accident.' Accident my butt... the damn driver was drunk! He felt like chasing some 'chick' and 'accidently' hit her! I hated the judge's for his stupid ruling. All he saw was some struggling factory worker against some dead woman.   
  


"D... Daddy? You 'kay?"   
  


I looked down. Yui stood before me, eyes worried. God... she looked so much like her mother.... Had I... been crying? My hands rose to my eyes. Yes. Was it because of the memories? I tried to stop thinking of them; they would not leave me alone. Yes.   
  


"I... I'm fine, Yui. Daddy just got a letter from an old friend..."--I smiled as her ten-year-old face twisted into a happy surprise--"...one that he had hurt a long, long time ago."   
  


Her eyes filled with pain yet again. She never heard my story because I didn't want her to know what I had done.... I felt that she would hate me then, although she probably wouldn't.... She was too much like her mother to hate me. "What did they want...?" she rasped softly, fear creeping up her body. She was trembling lightly.   
  


Kneeling down, I hugged her gently. "Just... wondering when I'll visit," I answered.   
  


All those years ago I learned that one choice could bring a world of pain. It could also bring a world of understanding. One choice taught me many things... and I figured that the pain would never end. Back when I had first felt the pain... I grew up.   
  


Sometimes I sit around and wonder to myself.... If I could, would I go back and change anything? Would I have made the correct decision...? Would I have dealt with the pain differently? Would I want to change the life I had lived?   
  


Now that I can think back about it, my answer is really quite clear: no.   
  


~*~ END ~*~   
  


A/N: The end... finally. I hope I wasn't too cruel to Matt.... I just wanted to prove that sometimes one choice can make your whole world fall apart. *ducks behind a toppled desk* Please don't hurt me!   
  


I had a few different ways I wanted to end this.... One was just to end it with Matt and Jun's wedding; another was to go all the way up to the meeting, ya know, and see how it all works out. And this is what I came up with. I hope you all enjoyed reading it! I know I promised to post it a while ago, but... school sucks! I have the dreaded ALGEBRA II!!!!! WAH! Oh well... a 97% isn't THAT bad.... And I already chose what I am taking next year! Wah! I am doubling up on my math subjects (Pre Calc. and Trig) and taking Spanish 3 and 4! *sighs* My brain's gonna blow....   
  


This chapter is dedicated to all you Taiora fans! 'Specially to DC, a new friend of mine! (I'll send you those pics as soon as I can!) To those of you who want to know what I'm gonna work on next... look out for new chapters to "The Legend of the Crests," a story of the digidestined's children, and "Fated," an AU tamers story! Also, anyone going to the steel worker rally in DC Thursday? I am! I am playing there with the rest of my band members! Hehe! I may get to see the pres.! The part that sucks is that I have to wake up at, like, two in the morning.... T-T Life sucks... that's why they made the GBA! *walks away dancing* Ja, Mina-chan!~Angel-Chan 


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